The Leather Wearing, Steak Abusing, Milkshake
by allsugarjet
Summary: The Yami's decide to start a rockband...read on for random hilarity!


The Yami's decided to start a rock band…oh boy. This is just meant to be funny. I watched the movie 'The Rocker' today and this idea randomly came to me. Hope you enjoy! I'm just going to use the Yami's names (Marik, Bakura, and Yami) since it's just easier.

Oh, and this is really, really random.

Oh, and excuse any spelling/grammar mistakes. I wrote this in about an hour and a half when I should have been doing my English essay.

__________

The Leather Wearing, Steak Abusing, Milkshake Shouting Rockstars.

"We need a name, Marik, not a medieval torture device," Yami sighed.

"I still think we should have a guillotine on stage," Marik grumbled. Bakura glanced between the two of them.

"I think we should go with the suicidal steaks."

Yami raised an eyebrow and stared at him. "Suicidal steaks?" he repeated in disbelief. He knew Bakura was insane, but this reached a new level. Bakura narrowed his eyes.

"What? Would you prefer 'The leather wearing eyeliner using hair gel abusing fags'?" he retorted. Yami gritted his teeth and wished for the thousandth time he could grab Bakura by the neck and choke the life out him. They glared at each other until Marik broke through the silence.

"I've got it! I can have my hikari run through the crowd with an axe and-"

"Marik!" both Bakura and Yami shouted. Marik stopped and glared at them.

"Well it's not like you two smart asses are getting anywhere," he hissed.

"Remind me again why I decided to join a band with leather boy and psychopath?" Bakura grumbled out loud. Marik smiled slightly at the name and Yami rolled his eyes.

"Because you're secretly obsessed with yourself and want to hear thousands of girls screaming your name," Yami told him, more than a little sarcastic.

"Did I ask to hear your personal fantasies?" Bakura shot back. Yami resisted the urge to destroy his mind and calmed himself down.

"Look, Yuugi bet me a month of no sex, whatsoever, that I couldn't win this week's Band War. So if you two can't get your acts together then I'm going to be bored and sexless for an entire month, and then you'll pay," Yami growled.

"What kind of 'you'll pay' are we talking about here?" Bakura pressed as an evil glare formed in his eyes.

"You will be wishing that Anubis will drag you down to the underworld alive when I'm finished with you," he hissed in a threatening tone. Marik and Bakura exchanged glances.

"I'd consider that fun," Marik stated. No one answered him.

"Let's just forget the name, and start practicing. We can think of something later," Yami turned around and began setting up the microphone.

"Of course the Pharaoh gets to be lead singer. Since he _loves_ to hear his own voice," Bakura muttered.

"Well _grave robber_ if you're so eager to test out your own vocals then be my guest. Just don't go crying to Ryou when all your fan girls throw up after hearing you," Yami glared at him from the corner of his eye and awaited the lashing retort. Bakura cursed something profound and picked up his guitar. Marik sat down behind the drums and called out "And one, two, one, two, three, MILKSHAKE!" Neither Bakura nor Yami responded. They turned around slowly and stared at Marik like the parents of a young child who had just screamed penis in a church.

"What does Malik see in you?" Bakura demanded.

"Crazy sex," Yami laughed quietly and Bakura soon joined in.

"You're jealous," Marik growled. Yami stopped laughing and turned back around.

"Can we just practice now?"

"Whatever you say, _your highness_," Bakura chided.

__________

"Band Name and members," the guy at registrations asked in a bored voice. The Yami's exchanged glances.

"Did we forget to make a name?" Marik asked. Bakura and Yami nodded.

"Shit," Marik cursed.

"My sentiments exactly," Bakura agreed. The guy looked impatiently between the three of them.

"Band Name, please. You're holding up the line."

"Crap, uh…" Yami trailed off in thought and Marik caught sight of a guy holding something sharp and silver. Bakura held him back just before he ran after him.

"Oh just put down…the Sennen Badasses," Bakura told the guy. He gave him a weird look, as did Yami.

"You can damn me to the underworld later, just get the stuff and don't let Captain ADD chase down anyone carrying precious metals," Bakura hissed as he let go of Marik and went back stage. Yami rolled his eyes and followed with Marik in tow.

For the next hour heavy rock music played throughout the Broken Glass Bar. The Yami's waited in the lounge back stage until a man with a headset around his neck and clip board in hand called them up.

"The…Sennen Badasses, you're up in five," he made a face at the name, but shook his head and moved on. Yami cast a glare over at Bakura.

"You have a way with words," he told him; sarcasm dripping off each word.

"And you have a way with-"

"Allons-y!" Marik shouted before Bakura could finish his sentence.

"Since when does he speak French?" Bakura asked as Marik dragged him on stage. Yami shook his head in response and ran on after them. Just as Yami took his place by the microphone a group of girls ran up to the stage.

"OH MY GOD! IT'S HIM! YAMI WE LOVE YOU!" They screamed. Yami gave them a confused looked and waved a small and reluctant 'hi'. The girls squealed and jumped up and down.

"HE WAVED AT ME! YAMI YOU LOOK SO SEXY IN BLACK LEATHER!" Bakura was on the verge of cracking up when a group of gay boys approached the stage.

"You're my idol!" One of them shouted. Yami turned around.

"I do believe those are Ryou's fan boys, unless there's something you'd like to share with us Bakura," Yami teased.

"You idiot, we're all gay. Just play the damn song so we can get the hell out of here."

Yami nodded and signaled for Bakura and Marik to start playing. An eruption of noise from the crowd nearly drowned out the music as Yami broke into singing 'Forever' by Papa Roach. Bakura wanted 'Getting Away with Murder', but that gave Marik too many ideas. Girls tried to leap on stage and if it weren't for the security personal, all three Yami's would have been raped into oblivion before the end of the song. At the end of the song Yami glanced back at Bakura and Marik.

"When I say run, we run," he whispered.

"WE WANT YOU!" a group of girls hollered as they broke through security and onto the stage.

"Run!" Yami shouted. The three Yami's bolted off the stage and skidded to a stop in the lounge.

"We have to hide!" Yami hissed.

"Can't we just kill them?"

"Marik!"

"In here!" Bakura called, motioning to a supply closet. The Yami's quickly piled inside and shut the door.

"Bakura move your arm its digging into my rib cage," Yami hissed.

"That's not my arm its Marik's rod!" Bakura protested

"Marik! Why did you bring the Sennen Rod?" Yami snapped.

"I thought we could-"

Suddenly Yami thought better of his previous question. "Never mind, don't answer that, just, shut up!"

Eventually after a few minutes the noise outside quieted down and it was safe for them to exit.

"Wait until Yuugi hears I spent my night getting chased by rabid fan girls and then crammed in a closet with you two," Yami shook his head at the thought.

__________

Later that night, after the stage had been cleared of all chaos, the bar manager came on stage to announce the winner.

"And this week's winner of Broken Glass Bar's Band War is…the Sennen Badasses!" Bakura looked over at Yami before entering the stage.

"Now you've got _two_ things to tell Yuugi that'll make him horny."

Yami growled and once again, restrained himself from choking Bakura.


End file.
